Liz Pearce, Director of Parent Engagement
Children’s Museum of Richmond
Did you know that seventy-five percent of adults say Americans are becoming ruder and less civilized, but that 75% of people also say they are NOT the ones being rude? What’s going on here?
If you want to point the finger at movies and TV, you’re not alone. A 2010 research study, conducted by the Parents Television Council (PTC), revealed “In the past five years alone, TV profanity has increased by almost 70 percent. Across all networks and prime time hours, use of the bleeped or muted f-word increased from 11 instances total in 2005 to 276 instances in 2010 – an increase of 2,409 %.”*
On the other hand, we can’t completely blame TV or the media. Don’t forget - Our children are watching and listening to us. Most of us have to admit that we’ve let a few choice words escape from time to time. It’s only human! We express our feelings of anger, disappointment and exhaustion through our words.
But as a parent, I’m most concerned with the “harshness of profanity” and the feelings behind the words, more than the innocent 4 year old who says a word he’s overheard, or the 7 year old who asks for clarification of exactly what the f-word means.
Regardless of age, the use of inappropriate language by our kids is something we need to discourage. Using appropriate language is a matter of self-restraint, self-control and respect.
It’s our job as parents to model and teach our children so they will have the best possible outcomes in the future. Without giving them a foundation in respect for others, their chances are diminished greatly.
Here’s what to do, if you have a child that uses profanity:
- Ask Questions: "Why did you say that?" In other words, determine what caused the incident in the first place. Is the child seeking attention, bullying another child, or expressing anger? Was the child provoked by another child or was the cursing more spontaneous?
- Acknowledge Reality: Realize that your child has likely heard words at an earlier age than you did. Make time for an open and honest discussion about word choice.
- State your Values: Our children truly want boundaries and guidelines about navigating life. Decide what is acceptable, as well as unacceptable, when it comes to profanity and inappropriate words. Then tell your children what you believe, and what the expectation is.
- Keep an Eye on the Future: Remember that the habits that are being formed right now, are the ones they will fall back on during times of stress in the future –whether it is on the homefront, or on the job. Are the words they are using now appropriate for a future spouse? Or a future employer?
- Give Them Other Options: Grab a thesaurus, or investigate better word choices online. Language is a beautiful tool for expressing emotions, thoughts and life experiences. There are over 250,000 words in the English language alone, and far more precise words to describe an event than using a limited set of 8 profane words.
* Information gathered from
http://www.parentstv.org/PTC/publications/reports/2010ProfanityStudy/study.pdf
http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlychildhood/article_view.aspx?ArticleID=59
http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/behaviordiscipline/a/TweenCursing.htm
